Saturday, August 19, 2006

Planetary Shift

I left Melbourne a few daze ago and skipped across the great pond called The pacific ocean. I was overweight with my luggage by 2kg! So I was forced to abandon my shave kit and slippers in thelocal bin at the airport JUST to get it to an acceptable weight. But the worst mistake I made was to take United Airlines, folks, never bother. The service is crappy, the food was terrible and the seats extra squishy...
But that was where it started... I then landed at LAX and had to line up at customs and have photos and index finger scans and then run at top cart pushing speed outand left to the American Airlines domestic departures where I had to almost nude up to get thru the detectors and the x-ray machines. Take my shoes off and have my laptop and bags scanned twice coming thru the airport. Finally I made it to GATE 47a and waited for my plane. It had taken me 2 hours and $50 US to get thru with over weight luggage and the formalities for security. I caught my flight and settled into some real fatigue, but the rude shock was all food on the flight was for sale - not free. So I just slept for 6 hours and ignored the offers for a crappy sandwich for $5 every 45 minutes.
I finally landed ay JFK and it was muggy and 27c at 10pm at night. A 30 minute ride and we were at home and I flaked on the couch in minutes.
At least it had a comfy end...
Obi in the northern hemisphere!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Dante's Disco Inferno

It's Thursday again and I can barely believe it. Outta here tomorrow and just a few final things to do, a happy and light feeling and a smile.
Then the phone rings... it is my mother saying that she and dad are in their caravan in Queensland and decided to do their wills.
"When we die, what do you want? You want the Edwardian dining table and chairs or the rings, or the country roses dinner set?"
CrAsh that warm light feeling
My mother wants to speak about death... Siiigh. Is this what Italian Mothers are like or is she leaning toward being a Jewish Mother? You tell me kids, the lines are open...
... my choice was all the photo albums and their promise to write down or record the family stories of their parents and grand parents etc.
Sentimental Obi Exposed!

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The Unbearable Lightness Of Being... Finished!

Thursday has come and gone and I must say to my surprise - so has the week. I have shut down in many aspects of the word, to the untrained eye it would seem as if I am dead splayed across the couch for the last few days, barely eating and barely moving, but to the yogi's eye it would be clear that a little internal shakabuku was happening, even I am oblivious to most of it. Except for a moment today driving home I actually felt lighter and more at ease than I have for many many months.
Now, those of you that know me and live in this fair city have actually seen me in the last 9 months become bent over and go all gray and sunken eyed... To those that do not live in the fair city of Melbourne then you would have only heard snippets and abstract and drawn your own conclusions from the evidence at hand.
Life has been tough, damn tough. I have had so much on my mind and heart that I hit overload and could not manage more than the 9 hours a day at the soul sucking job and the niggly distractions like eating and sleeping and packing up a house and the flu and shutting down a life and managing to keep a smile on my face and be happy looking. That all takes energy that I was only just been able to achieve.
Of course my list, in priorities my interests were so much more than my capacity and like so many people in a similar situation of being overwhelmed they shut down. Shut down aspects of themselves or their lives. For example, I have not created any art in the last 4 months at all, nothing and nada, I have wanted to, oooh how I have craved the time to sit and waste an hour or 3 but had other priorities and responsibilities.
Now, as I send off my last exam and assignment to be assessed I am calm and exhausted. The fog that has weighed me down and made me question myself is clearing and I can see the way ahead.
In the journey of our lives I became lost in a dark wood where the straight road had been lost. - I think it was Dante's Inferno.
With some perserverance and some generous help from loved ones Obi is back on his feet.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes


Lets see here...
In the last few months
  • I have moved out of the home I have known for the last 8 years.
  • Moved into my parents house the day they went on holiday around Australia.
  • Had someone very special come into and go out of my life from a lane we all know.
  • Advised of a nice little cluster of debt.
  • Quit a soul sucking job.

I seem to be stringing myself out on long shots and not being able to bounce back as once I was. For example, tonight I am alone. Alone for the first time in I cannot remember when and still with a pile of bills and an exam to finish in the next week.

I just feel alone and lonely, a little confused and overwhelmed a bit by the fact that next month 97% of the people I will be able to converse with will not speak English and -30c temperatures.

Well - I really must look back on this when I can put it all in perspective, and see what behaviours and ideas where a metaphor in what action and incident...

The lights on the TV look pretty, but too close will hurt your eyes and too far away and you will miss what is on the box...

Life is very obi-stract.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Chasing Rainbows

From birth we all look to our parents for encouragement and direction. Over the years the need for that fades, replaced by the inner voice of experience and our peers, but it still hurts nonetheless when you mother over the phone from across the country says to you that your plan to go and teach English in Moscow is just chasing rainbows.
Well I have noticed that life just is not just the smiles and charms some people see it as and I know that my life here is slowly boring me to death and that I am not tied to this earth so why not? Why not just take off an see if I can take this expression of me and test it in the fire of change and see what and if I come out the other side better different or changed. What the hell is life for? Certainly not so people at the bureau of statistics have something to do on Wednesday next week. or to fill out some forms so my taxes pay for some paint for a bus stop in Adelaide.
I am not a sheepin this world willing to walk one way because the sheep in front of me is, I am not asleep to the world out there that pulses with opportunity and invention for the soul, so damn it I am going! ... and as for my mother, she can shove her ideas of rainbows up her ass.
Obi pretty angry!

Sunday, August 06, 2006

End of a Season

Well today is the last day Raindog71 has to go anywhere and do anything, now if I could only get her out of the bathroom we could actually used the afternoon to get some final stuff done... Siiigh!

I looked up on Google Earth yesterday where I will be living and I finally found it, not an easy feat considering I had no idea and had to guesstamate from Metro stations... But Finally I have some Aerial idea where I will be freezing my ass off...

To be continued - someone is telling me to get in the caaaaaaar!

Obi get a move on

Thursday, August 03, 2006

The Fork In the Road

What belies the fork? What is it that makes me think I have to make a decision?
I guess I am the only one that knows.... And I ain't telling me! Nerrr!
I have a few weeks before I make the sojourn to the new chapter of my life, the new apartment in Southern Moscow (without a house mate yet). I really just dunno what to think. Raindog71 says I am just overwhelmed and to pack up a life and move to the other side of the planet would overwhelm anybody.... But I dunno... I ain't just anybody... (I am a freakin weirdo!)
I guess my current issue is whether to go to work tomorrow. I am just so over the soul sucking job I have and I cannot for the life of me get my conscious mind to listen to the Nike Fairy and "Just do it!". I think I am listening to the Strongsad fairy and saying to myself "Oooh, Hoisin sauce, what is the barometric pressure??!"
I dunno, is the extra disorganised running around worth the money at the job or is it time to rest relax and take stock of what I am doing and get all the bills and last minute things done and prepare myself mentally for the challenge ahead - Which I would have to do anyway with less time if I worked...
You be da judge!
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